Mono Brow in a Green Down Vest
Patty Mountain Biking in her green down vest
What’s a mono brow in a green down vest? It’s me, of course!
Men are incorrigible teasers. But that’s what I like about them. That’s why for the last three decades, I have ridden mostly with men who love to tear it up on their mountain bikes. And who don’t mind me tagging along. There’s this green down vest which I have been wearing on winter rides in the high desert since I first started mountain biking.
Of course there are now lightweight, wind-resistant, waterproof vests infused with Teflon that weigh less than an ounce, are slimming and glamorous but for some reason, the old neon green one is so much more comforting to me. And it holds untold memories of dozens of great rides. It also happens to be the target of major tease-fests, as it makes me look like the Pillsbury Dough boy, and like I said, it’s neon green.
The Famous Gag
There are times, even as we are beginning a 90-degree-in-the-shade ride into Palm Springs or Anza Borrego or Mission Trails which begins a mile from our home, the boys wonder, “Hey did you bring your green down vest?” It’s now the running gag that circulates through every season.
When I think about it, maybe that green down vest is actually a symbol of what mountain biking means to me. If you could boil all the positive aspects of our sport down into a manageable description, wouldn’t you agree that it’s comfortable, fun, natural, sweat-inducing and green? Puffy, laughable, durable, a perfect fit?
Well, I love to make my buddies laugh, and by gosh, if it brings a smile to someone’s face, I will wear that puffy green down vest to my grave.
Mono Brow
Mono Brow in her Jim Morrison jersey
The other thing that seems to draw a lot of guffaws is the “mono brow” that I acquire when riding at the back of the pack on particularly dusty rides. I guess you could say that most of the rides around San Diego County are dusty. So okay, it usually happens every time I ride. My singular brown brow would rival that of Frida Kahlo.
So just imagine a mono brow wearing a green down vest on a mountain bike. If that was a mathematical equation, it would be “funny plus hilarious equals LMAO.”
After riding a bicycle for more than half a century, and a mountain bike for over 30 years, it all boils down to the feelings and memories you gather from your mountain-biking adventures. Add a healthy dose of laughs and you will have lived a wonderful life, my friends.
Find out what happened during a downhill mountain bike race at Big Bear Lake when Patty’s contact lens flew out of her eye in “With Eyes Wide Open.”
