Australia
Adventure of a Lifetime
Patty and Mark arrive in Sydney, Australia, 1990
Australia aka Oz
One of the most spectacular vacations of our lives happened down under in Oz.
It was 1990, and Mark and I decided to backpack up the east coast of Australia. We landed in Melbourne, hitchhiked to Adelaide, visited the oldest mountains in the world, the Flinders Ranges, then crossed over to Sydney, and headed up the coast where we ended our extravaganza with a dive adventure to the Coral Sea and Great Barrier Reef on Mike Ball’s Spoilsport.
Great Mountain Biking Video Box Cover
It All Started Because of Mountain Biking
Maybe I should back up a minute and tell you that back in the mid-80’s we were the King and Queen of our own little video production and distribution business (New and Unique Videos) and produced a set of mountain bike titles which sold worldwide in bike shops and other assorted places, including KMart.
These were the videos that every mountain biker had to have in their library, because these shows were the first of their kind. Now cycling DVDs are – how you say – ubiquitous. Everyone with a bicycle and a camera now has several crash-n-burn videos posted up on youtube. Well, those were the good old days.
A few people from Australia had purchased our videos, and so Mark and I wrote them letters (yep, snail-mail, can you stand it?!) to see if they would care to meet us if we came to their town. Two people responded, Alan in Melbourne and Gaz in Adelaide. To this day we exchange holiday cards and emails, and these friendships are certainly forged in titanium! (note: titanium is major ingredient in high-end mountain bikes). ahem.
Alan and Patty in “Leechville” Melba Gully, South Australia, 1990
Melba Gully, A Leech and the Hospital Emergency Room
When Mark and I landed in Melbourne, we stayed with Alan at his apartment and the next day he took us on a ride to Melba Gully which was simply gorgeous. I do hope that this area has not been ravaged by any wildfires, but realistically, I would not expect such pristine beauty to last forever. I also remember a short hike past some bushes which flung an inch-long leech into my left eye. At the time I didn’t realize it was a leech; I just thought it was a piece of leaf or an insect. “Alan,” I showed him my eye, “Can you see what is in my eye?”
“Crikey!” he exclaimed (or so my memory believes it remembers), “It’s a leech!” He tried to pluck it off, and it had sucked on with such strength, it felt like it was taking the eyeball with it.
Patty and Mark in an Australian pub, 1990
Alan did manage to pry it off, amidst more colorful Aussie slang, and then he drove us all to the hospital where there was no one in the waiting room. So I was seen nearly immediately. The doctor prescribed an ointment which he handed to me, and we were probably in and out of there in fifteen minutes. Oh yeah, and the visit and prescription were both free. So say what you wish about socialized healthcare, but this particular event has reigned in my memory for 25 years with the caption: “Why couldn’t this happen in the USA?”
So there I was with this bloody eyeball as we continued on our journey through Australia. I didn’t mind though, because I couldn’t see it. And I would forget about it until someone would do a double take. But we’d quickly get past that with the story of how I got the bloody eye, and we’d make friends, have a beer (best beers in the world) and go on to the next adventure.
The Great Ocean Road
Just before the beginning of the Great Ocean Road we caught a ride with two German women who were sightseeing Australia. They had bought a big white Holden station wagon and were happy to take us to Adelaide. Once we reached Gaz’s house, one of the women had decided to go off on her own. Tom, the other lady, joined Gaz, Mark and me on a camping trip to the Flinders Ranges. These mountains are the world’s oldest. We camped out in Wilpena Pound, a large, sickle-shaped, natural amphitheatre that covers 80 km (31 sq mi) and contains the range’s highest peak, St Mary Peak.
Patty, Mark and Gaz riding mountain bikes in the Flinders Ranges
One day, Gaz, Mark and I rode our mountain bikes up St. Mary Peak. The terrain was reminiscent of San Diego’s gorgeous high-desert trails. The trail near the top became too difficult to ride so we hid our bicycles in bushes and climbed to the top. There we were rewarded with a 360-degree awesome view of The Flinders Ranges. That night we drank Bundy and Cokes as we sat around the campfire. As night deepened we danced around the flames like a bunch of Aboriginal ghosts. I slipped and almost fell backwards into the fire but Tom caught me like an I-meant-to-do-that move on “Dancing With the Stars.” It was quite a memorable evening.
Adventurers at 12 Apostles along Great Ocean Road, South Australia
After dropping Gaz back off in Adelaide, Tom, Mark and I puttered on in the Holden which we had by now dubbed the Big White Dingo. We stopped to taste wine in the Barossa Valley and picked up a few bottles for the road, along with a couple of bottles of Port to take home.
We bid adieu to Tom just outside Sydney where she had met a guy she liked. And we headed up the road.
Talent Quest
One night in a place called Village Resort in Port Macquarie we happened to be having a beer when the proprietors announced they were having a Talent Quest, and was there anything we could do to provide entertainment? While Mark and a couple of our new buddies performed Men At Work‘s “Down Under” as an air band, I wrote the following poem:
Down Under Oz
It was a mild day
in the U.S.A.
when the plan we made was
to fly to the land of Oz.
Mark and Patty traveling in Australia
The flight was tiring
but the land inspiring
with no clue what yet we’d learn
when we touched down in Melbourne.
We saw fairy penguins come ashore
and much, much more.
First thing in the morning, cockatoos;
stiff on the side of the road, kangaroos.
Crocodiles, sharks and Vegemite;
and scariest of all, those New South Wales roads at night.
From Flinders Ranges to Coral Sea,
outrageous memories for my honey and me.
And I’ll never forget the night I thought I’d die
after a “Crocodile Dundee” and cold meat pie (no lie!)
We prepared to spend our lives in Byron Bay
up until Paul Hogan’s wedding day.
Rumors of Tom Cruise, Cher, Tom Selleck and Clint
put an end to that stint.
Patty and Mark on a scuba dive trip aboard Mike Ball’s Spoilsport
So north we went
till our dollars were spent
on cruises to islands, and port and rum
and the brilliant beers that turn your head numb.
Here’s a toast to the Aussies and their incredible land down under.
Is it all a dream? Am I aslumber?
Is it LOVE? Is it LUST? Or just plain FATE?
Down under in Oz, it’s NO WORRIES, MATE!
© 5/13/90 – Mother’s Day
1st Place, Village Resort Talent Quest
Yep, it took first prize, which was a horseback ride to a billabong with tea and crumpets in the outback.
Mark and Patty on a horseback ride to a billabong in Australia
Many people over the years have marveled at the amazing adventures we have had. They say they wish they were so lucky. There is no luck involved. It’s about writing a date on your calendar and following through. Choose a destination, purchase travel tickets. Go.
Fairy Penguins of Phillip Island
